Ad Astra Per Aspera - management of adversities

“It either crushes  a  life, or  solidifies  it,  the wounded  oyster  mends  his  shell with pearl” Sidney Bremer

“God had only one son without sin but none without suffering” St. Augustine

“The kite flies highest against the wind”

“Storms and winds make sailors” Norwegian proverb

“Difficulties are meant to rouse not discourage”

We can assign so many virtues pertaining the competence of Overcoming Adversity - resiliency, courage, fortitude, faith, wisdom, commitment and persistency. First and foremost in this competence is Attitude. How do we perceive obstacles?  What is our opinion of adversities that come our way? How do we classify it – negative or positive? Attitude can be broken into ABC  of human psychology– Affect, Behavioral, Cognitive. Do we have the emotional make up and mind set to face troubles. Can we take hold of our body towards the positive direction our mind commands us to react.  Level of attitude is directly proportionate to depth of knowledge pertaining philosophy and human psychology augmented by experience.  Depth of knowledge is acquired formally or informally; or a mix of both.  In either way,  the human mind has a way of molding according itself according to man’s affective, behavioral and cognitive pursuit. “ We tend to realize in the life what we persistently hold in the thought and vigorously struggle toward” – Dr. Marden.  There is so much wisdom that can be derived from hard work as much wisdom to be derived from reading.  Discipline and action has a way of shaping a man’s character as logic can deduct for us the grave truth behind seemingly innocent symptoms.  History and the world today is the best illustration of this timeless truth.  The men who move the world today got knowledge from different sources – family, schools, streets, market, farms. Knowledge came to them as they sought it regardless of their circumstance.  One thing for sure, the men who broke the confines of their limitations and exceeded their generations within their lifetime were men who were not cuddled in the four corners of their bedrooms and classrooms.  They are two familiar with the entrapments of the world.  If they will consent to the opinion of the majority lacking in personal discernment, they will be like the rest.

  

The most basic requirement to manage failure is to refer to it as a SETBACK or TEMPORARY DEFEAT.  Failure becomes a failure when a person is overwhelmed by it and fails to rise from the hole. A logical approach in understanding failure is to evaluate its root case which is conflict of interest. Such that, there comes a moment in any man’s life when they come across a situation necessary for success and yet they are not willing to act upon it.

Motivators, keeps us going 

•   Wealth, financial capacity to acquire what we want and need
•  Recognition, the approval of our peers and family
• Security, peace of mind 
•   Love of family, acceptance, respect of friends and family
• Self Actualization, Pursuit of meaning and purpose
• Self awareness, sense of purpose. Alignment of present action to personal purpose.
• Visualization. Long term goals prevent us from being frustrated by short term failures. 
•   A Positive Attitude. Attitude towards failure. Attitude towards the laws of nature. Its not the winning but the rising every time we fall that.
• Competence. Planning is managing uncertainty. Strategy using creative leverages. Experience. Practical solutions.
• The Power of Human Thought. Faith and Prayer. Mind over matter. As a man thinketh in his heart so is he.  The human ice berg.
• The Power of  action. Persistence. Perseverance. Determination. No amount of hindrance can deter a persistent man.
• Challenge. Man’s inherent nature to hunt. His God given right to rule over nature. It is embedded in the deepest of human consciousness.

Demotivators, makes us stop

•  Self doubt, low self esteem
•  Fear of failure, lack of courage and faith
•  Dislike for change, its new. I wont have control over it. Negative attitude.
•  Indecisiveness. Lack of discernment on the right decision.
• Absence of goals, easily frustrated by short term failures
• Robert Sternberg, Intelligence applied

Motivator versus Demotivators = Conflict of Interest and Failure.

A champion pauses a moment and evaluates and clarifies his personal opinion on the conflict at hand. Asking questions as “what do I really want? What do I have to do to succeed or to be happy?” Please note that happiness is different from success. A simple comparison of which is happiness means wanting what you have while success means getting what you want. Simply put you may be happy without necessarily be successful or the other way around. After examining oneself, one has to make a definite stand or decision so as to reconcile the conflict. To procrastinate on this conflict will affect a salesman’s performance.

After having recognized the possibilities of failure and having learned a process aimed at managing it, it is important that we adopt the right attitude towards it. It should be treated as a positive situation:

• An opportunity to learn from. Experience is the best teacher.
• An opportunity to improve your craft or decision making skills.

An opportunity to test your resiliency in preparation for greater challenges ahead. Failure becomes  the  final  test  of persistence and  of  an  iron  determination; to turn obstacles into opportunities as pearls are made from irritants. Life is a war. To lose a battle does not mean losing a war. To snatch victory from the certain jaws of defeat. To rise once more and advance to win other battles is the true test of character.

Sources of Failure  Reference: Robert Sternberg, Intelligence Applied)

I would like to provide you a list of reasons why people fail to realize their potential and unable to meet their objectives and criteria of happiness. A word of caution to all people from all walks of life, even to the financially blessed and intellectually gifted. This list can also happen to you if you are not watchful. Stories of individuals graduating at the top of their class excelling in every aspect of life as extra curricular, sports and peers making tragic decision in life as Suicide or ending up in life a broken man. Persistently mastering every item has been one secret of the average and yet persevering student towards a fulfilling life.

Wrong Attitude. Blaming Attitude. Pessimistic. Living in the past. A negative perception of events, situation, and of life in general has a big influence on any man’s disposition. For attitude is the manifestation of a man’s heart and mind. Opinion manifested according to the three components of Attitude – Affective, Behavioral and Cognitive.

Lack of Motivation. The absence or deficiency of a great stimulus or driving force that will inspire a man to conquer great odds. Somehow, I come to think of the reality of Pre-Destination when contemplating on this subject. For indeed, not everyone is blessed with a striking incident  where fate carves an emotional build up to drive a man to extra ordinary conquest. A young boy of eight brought by his dishonored father to the altars of there gods and made to swear eternal enmity to Rome, thus carved General Hannibal Barca, the scourge of Rome, one of the greatest General who ever lived. The Battle of Cannae even surpassed Alexander’s Battle of Guatemala in number and size of battle field.  Nevertheless, with persistency comes practical intelligence and the skill to improve our imagination. We can create our own Emotional Build Up everyday.

Lack of Impulse Control.  Impulsiveness deprives a man of a thoroughly conceived course of action. Impulse is born of the heart not of the mind. Improvement of intelligence brought about by persistency will develop an iron self restraint to prevent us from making the wrong decisions.

Lack of Perseverance. The disability of failing to pursue our appointed course of action.  Unable to accomplish the minor details involved. Inability to complete task and follow through.

Inability to translate Thought into Action. The development of Intelligence, intuition and practical intelligence, is an exercise a man of mission should observe at the soonest time. Intelligence is not limited to theories. The greater requirement of intelligence is being able to demonstrate its viability and translate it into action.

Failure to Initiate. Initiative is a manifestation of a great desire; action brought about by the restlessness of a striving spirit. Initiative entails constant maneuver never a static position. However it entails a caution for Impulsiveness and should comply with the rigors of a strategic planning; always productive and never needless ones. As they say in Kaizen “ what works is obsolete “.

Lack of Courage. Courage is not the absence of fear but the innate ability to master our fear. Fear is an emotion brought about by a perception conceive of the mind. Therefore, if it is conceived of the mind we can conceive other factors to counter its roots. Sun Tzu has an explicit technique on this matter: He said “situate your army where there only chance of survival is to fight and they will transform into lions”. For indeed, life is dear for every man. If he has no choice of retreat, he will have to fight.

Procrastination.  Life is composed of the Past, Present and the Future. A man with a mission aspires for the realization of his dream in the future. However true that the future is relevant, the future will never come without living today.  The realization of Tomorrow is a constant act of laboring the Present.  A simple technique of managing Procrastination is to make a detailed plan with defined activities and exact dates and time. To be decisive every moment is a true test of will.

Failure to Plan. Failing to plan is planning to fail. If we have an extra ordinary task at hand, a thorough plan is required. A plan weighed against a thousand grain. Planning is an excellent mental exercise. It will thresh out weeds from the plants. One is able to see with his eyes and ears and mind. One is able to create a tool to control his detailed activities with a written and thoroughly thought of Plan.

Failure to Adapt to Changes. The advent of Fast paced evolution of Human Technology is causing many items we are used to obsolete.  Computers are evolving, transportation, Lifestyle, norms, even the way we communicate and do business. If we fail to adapt we ourselves will become obsolete.

Be aware. Discern the right decision. What is being practiced does not always mean it is the right thing.  One upon a time, they thought the world is flat; and suddenly a brave and insightful man challenges the great philosophers of the medieval ages proposing that the world is round and that the earth is not the center of the universe.  We may be regimented by the framework of our schools and organization but this must not be a hindrance for us to pursue excellence. Kai Zen is a Japanese Philosophy that proposes continuous improvement. Indeed, the room for improvement is the unlimited and widest of all. Change is the only constant thing in our world. If we cannot adopt or exceed it, we will become obsolete.

As a first step towards managing your personal adversities, let me share with you a process that will address certain items on Motivators – visualization, planning, self actualization. I must quote Charles Noble on this subject matter – “You must have long range goals to keep you from being frustrated by short term failures”.

Setting Personal Goals. It is imperative that we define what is our definition of Victory. What are its parameters and how do me measure it. It must contain qualitative and Quantitative parameters. If it has to drive our passion it must have poetry in it. Something closest to our hearts. If I may quote Charles Noble on this subject “ You must have long range goals to keep you from being frustrated by short term failures”. Success will be very hard to define if  we have failed to set our parameters for our understanding of what success means. Management of personal and professional affairs will be easier to execute if we have a blueprint of How To. Further, Long term goals keep us from being frustrated by short term setbacks which is given in any enterprise in life. With the mind equipped with an entrapment for long term perspective, the heart will easily rationalize emotional handicap of short term failures.

Two Types of Goals:

Short Term         - Weekly, Monthly, Quarterly, Annual

Long Term           - Five Year and Ten Year Goals, Our life’s aspirations

Requirements:

1. It must be in writing. Therefore, one must have a handy personal journal where goals are written and readily available for review and inspiration.
2. It must be a product of a thorough personal evaluation where one searches in his past, heart and mind what one wants and the purpose he has set his life to achieve.
3. It must be SMART and concrete so as to be easily imagined and can create outright desire. Position as Area Sales Manager by 2004, Ownership as a house by 2012, Accomplishment as a book written by 2015.
4. One must be committed to his / her goals. One may undergo a personal ritual of passage to take ownership of his life’s oath. Our history is full of rituals where great peoples makes a pact as sworn brothers or enemies. This pact is a self fulfilling prophecy by the principles of Cognitive Dissonance Theory which postulates our human consistency nature.